5 Back-to-School Tips to Help Your Child Have a Successful Start

The beginning of a new school year can come with a lot of expectations. New routines, new teachers, new schedules, and sometimes new challenges can take time for the whole family to adjust.

If things haven’t gone exactly as planned so far, that doesn’t mean the year is off to a bad start. These back-to-school tips for parents can help you support your child, notice what they may need, and give your family some room to figure out what works.

1. When something suddenly changes, get curious.

Kids do not always tell us directly when something is bothering them. Sometimes the first sign is a change that seems completely unrelated. Your child might start complaining about a stomachache every morning before the bus arrives. Maybe they suddenly refuse to carry the backpack they were excited about a few weeks ago, or getting out the door becomes a battle when it was not one before.

When something changes unexpectedly, try to get curious before deciding what is behind it.

Ask questions, pay attention to when the behavior is happening, and give your child opportunities to tell you more. What looks like resistance, avoidance, or even a physical complaint may be a clue that something else is going on. You know your child, and noticing those changes can help you start figuring out what they may need from you, especially if they don't know how to ask.

2. Start communicating with school before you really need to.

You do not have to wait for a problem to open the door of communication with your child's teacher or start building a relationship with the school. Reaching out early gives you an opportunity to share anything that might help them better understand your child and to learn what they are noticing during the school day.

That communication can be especially helpful because you and the school may be seeing different pieces of the same picture. Your child might be holding it together all day and struggling when they get home, or the teacher may notice a pattern that you would have no way of seeing from home. Keeping that line of communication open gives everyone a chance to share information before frustration builds or a challenge becomes bigger.

You do not need to have a concern or a solution before reaching out. Sometimes simply having the relationship in place makes it easier to work together when your child does need additional support.

3. Give everyone some room to adjust.

Getting back into the school routine is an adjustment for the whole household, not just the child heading back to the classroom. Bedtimes change. Mornings get earlier. Activities start back up. There are lunches to pack, papers to sign, buses to catch, and suddenly everyone is expected to remember what day it is again.

It may take a while for your family to find its rhythm, and things do not have to run perfectly while you get there. Maybe the house is messier than usual. Breakfast might look unconventional for a few weeks. The morning routine you carefully planned might work beautifully on Monday and completely falls apart by Wednesday.

Give yourself and your family some room to figure it out. You can adjust routines as you learn what actually works, rather than expecting everything to fall into place immediately. Some mornings, getting everyone where they need to be is enough of a win.

4. Don’t hold your child to a standard you couldn’t meet every day either.

Think about everything we expect from kids during a school day. We ask them to wake up on time, remember what they need, transition from one thing to another, stay organized, pay attention, manage their emotions, complete their work, interact with other people, and then come home and do it all again the next day.

That is a lot, especially when your child is also navigating a mental health challenge.

As adults, we know we cannot do all of those things perfectly every day either. We forget an appointment. We lose our keys. We have trouble concentrating when something else is on our mind. We get overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, or simply have a bad day.

Try to leave room for your child to have those days, too. If the backpack is forgotten or the morning routine falls apart, it does not have to define the rest of the day or the rest of the school year. Think about what you would expect from yourself on a difficult day and give your child some of that same flexibility.

5. Make goals small enough that your family can celebrate!

At the beginning of a school year, it is easy to think big. Maybe your child wants to get all A’s, stay organized all year, never miss the bus, or turn in every assignment on time. There is nothing wrong with having big goals, but it can be hard to feel like you are making progress when the finish line is months away.

Try bringing the goal a little closer. Instead of “I’m going to stay organized all year,” maybe tonight’s goal is getting the backpack ready before bed. Tomorrow’s might be getting out the door in time for the bus. If your family is trying a new morning routine, the goal could simply be trying it for a week and then talking about what worked and what did not.

Those smaller wins count. They also give your child a chance to experience success along the way instead of waiting until the end of the grading period or school year to decide whether they succeeded. Once something starts working, you can build on it together.

Connect with parents who get it

Every Wednesday at 7 PM, parents from across Pennsylvania get together online to talk about what’s going on, swap ideas, celebrate wins, and spend some time with people who get it.

Grab a drink, get comfy, and join us for our weekly parent support group. Come to talk, come to listen, or just come hang out.

We’ll see you Wednesday. 💚