Exploring Agoraphobia

One mother shares how her feelings of helplessness and isolation lead her to help others. #parentalliance #agoraphobia #leadership

One of the hardest jobs a person can have is to raise a child. Being a parent is a task that involves a mix of emotions, gut feelings, constant worry, and a whole lot of love sprinkled on top. A parent wants nothing more than to protect their children and instill them with the skills and knowledge they need to live a happy life. This already seemingly impossible task of parenting is made even more difficult when one of your children is diagnosed with mental health or emotional difficulty. This was the situation Janet Lawson, a Pennsylvania mother, found herself in when she was raising a family of her own.

Before Lawson was the CEO of a multimillion-dollar nonprofit organization she was a single mother struggling to stay afloat. At the age of 16, she had her first child. Teenage pregnancy has the potential to hold back a mother for the rest of her life, but Lawson did not let this happen. She worked to earn the title of Licensed Practical Nurse and met a man who would soon become her husband. The couple got married and had three children despite the fact that their relationship was biracial and caused double-takes when out in public. Lawson had never been the kind of woman who cared what others thought, and she continued to work on giving her children a happy childhood.

Sadly, in 1997 Lawson's husband passed away when his youngest daughter was at the impressionable age of 8 years old. This child, Grace, spiraled into a deep depression after her father’s death. Grace was unable to leave the house and was eventually diagnosed with Agoraphobia, which is the fear of leaving one’s home. When recounting these times Janet said; “most families and parents I work with tell me about how their children lash out at them and misbehave, but with Grace it was just utter sadness. She cried from the minute she woke up until the minute she went to bed, and most days so did I.”

To create an Emotional Safety Plan for you, or to help your child create one for themselves, check out our Emotional Safety Plan Tip Sheet here.

Money is generally of concern for most young families especially, single-parent households. However, Janet has a strong drive to help people and she found herself naturally drawn to people with mental health challenges. She shifted her career path from being a nurse to working with her church as an advocate for the homeless population in her area. This was a massive pay cut but, to Janet, what she gained was worth every penny lost. She was with her church for ten years and while she loved her time there she found it isolating at the same time. The church that she worked in looked at mental illness as an “evil force that could be prayed away.” According to Janet; “I prayed. Every single night I prayed, and it didn’t get better. We needed something different than divine intervention.”

For a unique perspective on Faith and Mental Health Check out our blog post here.

Grace stayed in the house from the time she was 8 years old until she turned 21. Janet, to this day, is saddened by the fact that her daughter “missed out” on her teenage years but is so proud of the woman she has become. With truancy fines growing at a rapid pace she knew she had to act. Janet took her to a treatment facility where Grace stayed for a long period of time. Grace was a very sensitive child and it took several tries for her to find a therapist she was able to fully trust, but once they did he was a lifesaver for both of them.

In the 21st year of her young life Grace was able to overcome her agoraphobia. She followed in her mother’s footsteps and entered the mental health field herself. After a brief setback Grace is currently raising two children of her own and is working in her community to help others, just like her mother. Lawson is amazed by how strong her daughter has been and how far she has come, but she says, as a mother, she can still see the internal struggle Grace goes through and keeps a close eye on her child regardless of how old she gets.

Even when things with Grace finally started to stabilize, Lawson couldn’t help but notice the lack of help she received. When Lawson was in the thick of raising a child with a mental difficulty there was no such thing as Google. She was not able to look down at her phone and access pages and pages of resources and support. Lawson was not sure of her rights when it came to things like truancy or insurance benefits, and she didn’t even know how to access this information. When asked what advice she would give a parent going through a similar situation she said, “utilize the resources available to you.” Lawson doesn’t want parents to listen to the stigma that surrounds mental health. While it is better than it was when was raising Grace, it is still there. Parents today have so many resources at their fingertips, and Lawson's best advice is to ask for help and use it.

Is your child struggling and you aren't sure what to do next? Give one of our Family Support Partners a call! For personalized One on One support call the Parent Support Line at 570-664-8615 or learn more here.