Getting to School Is a Battle: What to Do Now if Your Teen Is Facing a Big Transition

Back to school season can feel overwhelming for any family. But if your child is in high school and thinking about what comes next, it is more than just supplies and schedules. The pressure gets real.

Whether they are headed toward college, job training, or figuring things out one day at a time, this transition is one of the biggest. And for many teens, the stress of what is next shows up long before graduation. It shows up as school refusal. As exhaustion. As panic. As shutdowns. And yes, as daily battles just to get out the door.

For some families, getting to school is a battle every single morning. Not because your teen does not care, but because they are overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, or a mix of a lot of emotions.

Darryl Williams is a professor at a Pennsylvania community college and the founder of Outward In Learning, a virtual coaching and skills program that helps high school and college students build the mindset, habits, and strategies they need to succeed in school and beyond.

“What inspired me to start my program was simple,” Williams says. “Why are we waiting until a student is already overwhelmed to teach them how to manage their time or ask for help? What if we started preparing them before the pressure hits?”

Williams believes many students struggle not because they are lazy or unmotivated, but because no one has shown them how to navigate what is expected of them. And that problem starts long before college begins.

Darryl’s program can be a huge asset for families preparing for this next chapter click here to learn more about working with him and how Outward and Learning can support your teen’s transition.

Here are three things Williams recommends parents of high school students do now to make this school year smoother and set the stage for a stronger future.

1. Start preparing your teen emotionally for what will feel different

The transition out of high school is not just about academics. It is a shift in identity and expectations. For students who have relied on a lot of structure or support, the sudden change can be jarring.

“In high school, your child is part of a system that checks in, reminds them, and advocates for them,” says Williams. “In college or in a job setting, that responsibility flips — and many students are not ready for that.”

Talk early and honestly with your teen about what will feel different next year. They may no longer have a teacher who asks about missing work or a counselor checking in regularly. They may need to speak up to access accommodations or support. Ask them how that feels. Discuss how their routines and relationships might change, and what parts they are nervous about. Naming those fears helps reduce anxiety and makes the transition feel more manageable.

Williams encourages parents to frame the change as something they can prepare for, not something they have to fear. Independence does not happen all at once. The more your teen understands what is coming, the more empowered they will feel to step into it.

2. Help them build the everyday habits that independence requires

Adulthood brings new expectations whether your child is leaving for college, starting a job, entering a training program, or staying at home while they figure things out. As Williams explains, the world does not wait for young adults to be fully ready. Even if your teen is not pursuing college or full independence currently, they still need to develop key skills like managing their time, staying organized, and knowing what to do when things go wrong.

Williams sees students struggle not because they lack ability, but because no one helped them practice real-life habits. Success looks different for every young person. What matters is whether they have the tools to show up, follow through, and ask for help when they need it.

Now is the time to help your teen build those habits. Let them take the lead on planning their week. Encourage them to set reminders and manage appointments. Talk through what happens when plans fall apart and how to regroup. These are not just school skills. They are life skills. And starting now makes it easier for your child to grow into responsibility with support, not shame.

3. Get support now, for them and for you

It can be hard to know when to ask for support especially when things seem manageable on the surface. But building in community and guidance early can make the road ahead feel less overwhelming and a lot less lonely.

That is why we created Your Weekly Check In. It is a free virtual group for parents and caregivers of children with mental health or behavioral challenges. This time of year is hard. And parenting through transition is exhausting. If getting to school is a battle at your house, you do not have to face it alone.

We meet Tuesday evenings beginning August 19 at 7 PM. There is no prep. No judgment. Just a place to connect, reflect, and be with others who understand how heavy it all can feel.

Because getting to school is not just about backpacks and bus rides. Sometimes it is about big emotions, growing independence, and an uncertain road ahead. You are not the only one trying to walk it.

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