5 Coping Strategies for Overwhelmed Parents

Can you feel it too? The anxiety under the surface of everything you do? Maybe it's the constant headlines. Maybe it's watching your child struggle while doing everything you can to help, despite broken systems and red tape. Maybe it's your own anxiety or depression that feels even trickier to navigate than it normally does.

If you're feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders I want to give you permission to unload some of it. I know you're a good person and a good parent who just wants to make sure everyone is happy and healthy.

However nobody can carry all of that, and the relentless desire to be everything to everyone is not sustainable. In order to be the best version of yourself you need to take care of you, too. These tips aren't about how you can fix everything better and faster. It's quite the opposite. These tips are for slowing things down, nervous system regulation, and finding your footing again.

Give one or two a try today and see how they feel. Notice if it brings you comfort and helps you feel grounded. Let yourself move through your day more slowly than you did yesterday, and see what that feels like.

1. Train Your Brain to Notice the Good

It is easier to think in black and white, especially when your brain is in survival mode. If you see something bad on your phone or the news or at your child's school it is easy to think everything is bad. This blanket statement is easier for our brains to process.

But things are not black and white, most of the world in front of us exists in the gray area. Next time you see something upsetting try to pull back and also see the humanity. See the person in the video trying to help. Notice the receptionist at your child's school who doesn't make you feel dismissed.

Actively seeking out the good in the world is healing. It will help you hold two truths at one time. Yes, there is injustice going on around you AND ALSO there is good. There are people doing the right thing all around the world this very moment. Make space for and actively try and find the people who help. It will begin to settle that everything is bad feeling.

2. Give yourself permission to pause

The laundry will never ever end. The dishes will pile up as long as the people in your house keep eating. There will always be more to do. You can tell yourself "I just need to get through this week/month/year and then I can relax all you want. But that calm time is not on the horizon. Life keeps rolling and as a parent you will never reach the bottom of your 17 to do lists.

You have to carve out time for rest, or your body will do it for you. Lay on the couch even though the sink is full. Answer that work email tomorrow when you're actually working. Show your body and your nervous system that it's okay if everything isn't done right now.

Slowly you will start to feel less urgent about everything. You will prove to yourself that you don't have to be productive 24/7.

This tip feels like the hardest for a lot of people to implement. As a busy parent you truly do have a lot on your plate. Some easy ways to get started are to first of all - put your phone down.

Get a little unplugged in your pursuit of slowness. Carve out times where you are not on your phone. Before bed and after you wake up are a good time to start. Let yourself ease into and out of days without the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Secondly - write it down. Get everything you need to do out of your head and onto paper. Tomorrow you can start tackling it one by one. Today, you can rest knowing that nothing will be forgotten because it is all written down.

3. Rewatch an Old Favorite

When things feel out of our control our brains crave predictability. If you're feeling overwhelmed this could be a good time to lean into a world that feels comforting.

Is there an old movie that makes you feel cozy? A tv show whose characters feel like home? Put it on and sink into the comfort of nostalgia.

The predictable nature of media you've already seen will help if you're feeling generally on edge. This is not avoidance this is nervous system regulation and an ultimate recognition of what you can control.

You can bring a comforting energy to your house. You can show your kids what it's like to rest. And it's just the truth - they don't make tv and movies like they used to!  Share your favorites with your kids and see if they fall in love with it like you did!

4. Find the beauty in the little moments in front of you

Begin to notice the little beautiful things around you. The birds that chirp in the morning, the way the light bounces off your children's toys in the afternoon sun.

This isn't to say that everything is fine. I am not trying to be toxically positive and tell you to just look at a flower and everything will be okay. Rather it's a way to pull you out of your head and into the present moment. By being keen on noticing beauty, joy, and wonder you are tethering yourself to where your body actually is, not getting lost in your thoughts.

An easy way to get your brain to think this way is to look around the room you're in right now. I mean it, turn your head from your screen to the left and then the right. Whether you're home, in your car, at your desk, or anywhere for that matter - there is beauty around you. Ask yourself - what would I miss about this moment when it's gone.

Is it the way your sweater makes you feel cozy? Is it your sleeping pet at your side? Does the fresh air coming out of the window smell clean? Make a note of what feels delightful around you and you will slowly start to see it more and more.

5. Chose comfort

Comfort matters for both your child, and you. You are probably praised for your strength. For how much you have pushed through or held together. And you are strong, but you also need space to be soft. You can't problem-solve when your body does not feel safe.

When things feel overwhelming lean into comfort. Take extra long hot showers, drink a warm tea, snuggle on the couch for one more episode. Light candles, turn the big light off and get comfortable.

Not only your physical comfort but also your mental and social comfort. Say no to plans you don't want to do without guilt. Right now is the time to prioritize your comfort because it's something you can control, and it helps you regulate.

You are carrying so much. The needs of your child. The noise of the world. The pressure to stay strong even when you feel anything but. It makes sense that everything feels heavier than usual. This is a hard time to be a person, and an even harder time to be a parent trying to hold it all together.

These small practices will not fix everything, but they can help you find your footing when things feel unsteady. Just one small shift can soften the edges of a hard day.

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