“The Explosive Child” by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. explains his model: Kids do well if they can. In other words, if your child could do well, he would do well...if your child had the skills to exhibit adaptive behavior, he or she wouldn’t be exhibiting challenging behavior. That’s because doing well is always preferable to not doing well.
"When faced with defiant or violent behavior, most parents try “Plan A,” where they impose their will on an oppositional child. The problem? Plan A doesn’t work. Parents who move to “Plan B” — a collaborative and proactive parenting style — have a much better chance of solving their children’s behavior problems." Here's 10 Tips Additude Magazine shared from Dr. Greene's book.
The journey towards eliminating your children’s behaviors begins with a hard look at your own beliefs (and those around them) about why children exhibit challenging behaviors to begin with. We have all heard the common characterizations of children with challenging behaviors. They are attention-seeking, manipulative, coercive, unmotivated, and limit-testing. Some say they are bad or if you have a boy then they are just being a boy.
Have you ever questioned these narratives or thought they may be inaccurate and counterproductive? Have they been serving you or your child well? My guess would be no. What if you looked at a child’s challenging behavior as a signal: simply the means by which a child is communicating something very important: I’m stuck…there are expectations I’m having difficulty meeting. I don’t know how to solve this problem on my own. What if instead of focusing on the child’s behavior — and creating new strategies for modifying said behavior (rewards, punishments, levels, stickers) — you looked at the expectations the child is having difficulty meeting.
In the book, The Explosive Child (Dr. Ross Greene), we learn to explore a new way to help our children by first challenging our own belief system. We are also taught how to identify the unsolved problems we have been facing as well as how to solve them together, with our child, proactively. No reward charts, no battles, no assumptions…Are you ready to try something new?
In a supportive and encouraging environment group members will discuss via webinar platform designated chapters of the book over a 6 week period. Videos will be used to supplement reading where available. If you have any questions, feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We can't wait to get started!